Hyperbole: You're Doing it Wrong

Today's rant is brought to you by the expression, "I couldn't care less." I am ranting about it because I COULD care less, which is to say, I do care. Now, when it comes to hockey? I couldn't care less.

Did you see what I did there? I used both expressions correctly.

Recap:

I couldn't care less: means that you, as a matter of fact, don't care, and it would be impossible for you to care any less than you already do because your "give-a-bleep" meter has bottomed out. Many people feel this way about royal weddings.

I could care less: means that, come to think of it, you do in fact care, at least a little.

Would it help if I drew a picture? Okay then.

The Care-o-Meter

Hope that helps. At least now I won't be the only one cringing when people say, "I could care less" when they clearly mean they couldn't.

By the by, I started searching the Oatmeal.com because it seems preposterous that he has NOT commented on this misuse of hyperbole, but couldn't find anything there. Still, it was a fun rabbit hole to go down.